My journey with my sister Jill was an important episode in my life. From the very beginning of Jill’s life my relationship with her was a difficult one. Jill was ill as a child and suffered some physical and mental impairments. In treating Jill with deference as one would expect them to do, my parents allowed Jill to become manipulative. Should my other sisters or myself not fulfill Jill’s demands, we were reprimanded. As the youngest child and born after my parents thought their childbearing days were over, Jill was given more latitude in her upbringing. To be honest about Jill’s behavior, it would be truthful to say that she was spoiled.
Jill was the youngest of the four of us and seven years younger than the next youngest, Christine. I am assuming that Jill did not feel part of the family, that she felt left out many times although she never said so just due to the distance in our ages. We moved from Pittsburgh when Jill was still an infant, so she did not have the same experiences with the extended family which the other three of us had. Jill was often angry, and as she grew older refused at times to cooperate with family activities. Consequently, as we all continued to grow and change as our lives changed, I had little interaction with Jill. Jean, Christine and I complained about Jill’s actions, as we saw them as hurtful to our parents. Jill’s activities and behavior often left our parents with financial problems to solve on her behalf. While I would occasionally try to intervene, my attempts were not appreciated by either my parents or my sister Jill.
When mom and dad and then my sisters Jean and Christine passed away, I knew that I was required to assist Jill and befriend her. As my sisters and I were growing up, I was told that as the oldest I was required to take care of my sisters. Mom and dad may not have meant that I should care for my sisters all of my life, but that is how I understood their counsel and have tried to honor their advice.
Though Jill’s high school years were troubled, she did graduate and began to make a life for herself. It was very different from my life as she changed jobs often and didn’t seem to find where she fit in. Jill lived with a friend after she moved to Texas, who helped her throughout the years they lived together. Jill’s friend helped her during treatment for non-Hodgkins lymphona. His behavior to her was exemplary. He was her protector. He helped Jill make decisions about her health care and together they formed a life which was acceptable and even pleasant for them. They made plans for their future, though they would never be a married couple – their relationship was not physical but platonic.
The posts that are shown on this page are a history of the walk that I made with Jill the last four years of her life – from the death of Christine in 2014 to Jill’s passing into God’s arms on March 25, 2019. In many of the posts I am angry. It wasn’t a walk that I wanted to take, but journeying with Jill changed my life and me. I am self-centered, selfish and somewhat arrogant individual, and I am not generally a touchy feely person. Helping, visiting, even speaking with someone who was unknown to me is not something I would ordinarily do. I found myself doing and acting at the beginning of Jill’s and my more close association, because I thought it was my “job” and then later because I truly began to love and admire my youngest sister. Her life had been very difficult and painful. Though Jill’s lifelong smoking habit had damaged her health and perhaps caused many of her physical problems, I still grieved deeply for her when she passed away. I still think of Jill daily and regret that it took so long for me to get to know her.
I know that God was present in this journey, because He changed my heart. The posts are not in order. I tried unsuccessfully to rearrange them, but at least there is a record of what transpired the last few of years of Jill’s life. May God bless my sister Jill and bring her close to His Heart.
The Eternal Value of an Ordinary Life
Is it possible to place a value on a human life? Is it reasonable to do so? Our secular society does and then calculates human…
Keep readingJill
Jill is back in the hospital. She was scheduled for a hysterectomy for uterine cancer, but blood tests revealed that her blood count was very…
Keep readingWhat I have learned this last week
This post was from early in my closer relationship with her. Jill was hospitalized this week after falling, breaking her arm. Her potassium and electrolyte…
Keep readingThoughts about Jill
A week or so before Jill passed, while she was in the hospital for the last time, Jill told me that she had seen our…
Keep readingUpdate on Jill
John called me yesterday to tell me that Jill will be going to a nursing home for 10 days, as she cannot orally take the…
Keep readingJill’s diagnosis
Jill had a biopsy of her uterus a couple of weeks ago. She has been losing weight and has had bleeding and cramping as well.…
Keep readingJill and my experience at the hospital
Jill had quite a difficult experience in the hospital last week. She was sent to the Scott and White in Round Rock when she went…
Keep readingA beautiful answer to a prayer
(Even though the date on the post is October 2019, it was written shortly after Jill’s death in March of 2019.) Yesterday was a difficult…
Keep readingJill once more
(This was posted just a week or two before Jill died.)As you know Jill has been very ill for a long time. She was hospitalized…
Keep readingSo Much Tragedy in One Life
Jill was hospitalized last Friday after falling out of bed at the nursing home. When she arrived in the Emergency Room, it was discovered that…
Keep readingJill is dying but what incredible stories
I am coming to know about my littlest sister in these past few days and week than I knew before. Everyone at the nursing home…
Keep readingJill’s passing
Jill passed from this life today just after 1pm. I was in her room, talking with Shannon, a kind woman who had met Jill and…
Keep readingJill, once again
Jill has had another episode where she began to hold water, lost oxygen and ended up in the hospital. Again I rushed to the hospital,…
Keep readingJill in Cedar Park
Jill is now in a nursing/rehab in Cedar Park. She was not answering her phone or room phone, so I went there. Her bed was…
Keep readingJill – not doing so well today
Jill is back in the hospital. She refused to go to dialysis while at the nursing facility in Bertram. According to the nurse, Jill has…
Keep readingJill again
I received a call from John this afternoon. He said that he needs to buy a van to transport Jill, but doesn’t have the money.…
Keep readingMark 2:13
“He went out again beside the sea; and all the crowd gathered about him, and he taught them”. When I read this this morning, it…
Keep readingJill’s continuing health issues
Early March 2017 On Friday John called me to tell me that he had been given the results of the latest CT scan. The scan…
Keep readingJill has fallen again
John called me yesterday, as I was preparing for luncheon guests. He said Jill had fallen and was being taken to Seton Williamson. I visited…
Keep readingJill’s further adventures
After a week of having a regular dialysis appointment, I felt confident that this stage of Jill’s life was going okay. Then today, while I…
Keep readingNews on Jill
After being so angry with Jill yesterday because I thought she was lying to me, that she had gotten another high interest loan, she called…
Keep readingJill conditions
Today Jill and her friend John came for a short visit. I had invited them to spend some time with us on Christmas, but since…
Keep readingJill’s saga and other things this Easter week
This morning Jill was scheduled to be at a nursing home for 10 days of IV antibiotics. I had planned to visit her today, but…
Keep reading