After being so angry with Jill yesterday because I thought she was lying to me, that she had gotten another high interest loan, she called to tell me of her visit to the kidney specialist she had seen about a year ago – a doctor she liked. The kidney doctor told Jill that her kidneys are failing, that dialysis is the only option. They will take another blood test today to test the potassium and creatinine levels. If those levels haven’t dropped from what they were in the hospital last week, then Jill is out of options. Dialysis is the only treatment. Jill didn’t seem to be fighting the news anymore.
I was devastated by the news. All yesterday afternoon and evening I was grieving for her. I had to take something to go to sleep last night, and even then, I didn’t sleep well. I kept waking up. How can it be? Why can it be? Hasn’t she suffered enough? Jill really seemed to be responding to the diet regimen, which is so hard. It was as if all the energy and fight was drained out of me. And there is nothing I can do to change what will be.