I read the following this morning and realized that what I had done for my parents was not done just out of duty, as I had thought before. That it was done out of love.
“Think about those times in your life when you have felt inspired to do something really great. Where does that inspiration come from? The Holy Spirit. God inspires us to do great things with our lives.” – Dynamic Catholic meditations for Lent
So it must be that even though I was not going to Church, God was still in my life encouraging me to do what was right and good. When I read that line, I started to cry. All this time I thought that when I decided to help mom and dad, to drive to San Angelo every month, sometimes more, that I was just doing it because it was a duty of a daughter to a parent. I have never given myself that thought, that pat on the back, that I was doing it out of love for them. When I helped Christine with their care, when I allowed her to be in charge, it was out of love for them. There was a sense of responsibility, I know, for God has commanded us to “honor our mother and father”. I have known that I loved them, but I never allowed that thought to enter into the picture, as though I was immune from loving, as though loving as a reason for doing, shouldn’t be in the picture. How very strange!
And I do think that my helping my folks, even though the outcome was not as we anticipated, was a “great thing”. It was a difficult thing to drive there, to spend time there. It was not an easy thing. All the little things we did from the little note cards that would allow mom to speak the words dad needed to hear, to the little gifts for mom, to the greeting cards every week – those were all great things suggested by the Holy Spirit, who inspires us.
When I refused the offer of a pill when I was first pregnant, that was a great thing too. I was so scared, and yet somehow I knew to let God be in charge. And look what wonders He has given – a beautiful daughter whose presence was a defining point in my life.
Heavenly Father, even though I refused to think about You, You were still thinking about me, still loving me. You are such a Wonder!
“Come, Holy Spirit, I invite you into the very depths of my being. Lead me, guide me, coach me, encourage me, and challenge me. Direct me in all things. Teach me to become a great decision maker, so that in every moment of every day I can choose what is good, right, noble, and just. Amen.” – Dynamic Catholic